“I just can’t get along with my family.”
“I can’t wait to leave home.”
The family is the most social structure of any society. It is not surprising that the concern most often expressed by young people is who they will marry. The choice of a lifetime marriage partner is certainly the most important decision a person can make.
Each family is unique, with each marriage partner bringing experiences and values from his or her own family. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage, a “marriage made in heaven.” There are, however, biblical principals that, if followed, will help each family to be all that God intended it to be.
First, is the foundation of love. Christ demonstrated this principles by laying down his ‘rights” as God. If we truly love our spouse and our children, we would be willing to lay down our lives so that they might live in some emergency situation. The true test, however, is if we lay down our rights and demands on others in the everyday situations of life. Love is proven, not just by the words we say, but also by our actions.
Second, is the foundation of respect. Family members must show respect for each other, even when there is disagreement on a particular matter. This is where healthy communication plays an important role. If we offend in any way, we need to quickly ask forgiveness.
Third, is the foundation of commitment. No matter what happens, commitment is necessary for a family to survive. There are many voices in contemporary society that tell us if the marriage is not working, just get a divorce. But divorce is not the solution. God is the solution and help can be found through prayer, studying God’s Word, and the wise counsel of Christian friends and church leaders.
Before you marry, be at peace with your own family. Unresolved conflicts in your birth family will often be reflected in the relationships you have with your husband/wife, children, and inlaws. Ask forgiveness of those you have offended, and forgive those who have offended you, no matter how deeply you have been hurt. As God has forgiven us, in the same way, we must forgive others.
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